Laws Pertaining to Lighting Shabbas Candles

(From my notes of my halacha presentation in Yeshiva)

I decided to send this out because I feel it is quite relevant for those of us out of our home.

1. Lighting Shabbas candles is a rabbinic enactment.

2. The Shulchan Aruch (263:2) quotes the Rambam (Hilchos Shabbas 5:1) "Every man and every woman are obligated that there be in their home a candle kindled for Shabbas"

3. Three reasons are given:

A. Oneg Shabbas (Pleasure of Shabbas) (Tosafos to Mesechet Shabbas 25b Chova, Rambam Hilchos Shabbas 5:1, Shulchan Aruch 263:2)

B. Kavod Shabbas (Honor of Shabbas) (Rashi to Shabbas 25b Chova, Rambam Hilchos Shabbas 30:5 - for two different resolutions regarding the seeming contradiction in the Rambam, see the Aruch HaShulchan or Rav Yitzchak Twersky ztzt"l in the Torah U-Madda Journal, Volume 8, page 29)

C. Shalom Bayis (Peace at Home) (Rashi to Shabbas 25b Hadlakos Ner BiShabbas explaining a drasha on Lamentations 3:17, Shulchan Aruch 263:3)

4. The Shulchan Aruch (263:3) based on the Gemara in Shabbas 35b says that the primary obligation of lighting Shabbas candles rests on the wife. The Mishnah Breuerah adds that the husband should prepare the candles for lighting.

5. The Shulchan Aruch (263:6) says students who learn (and dorm) outside their home need to light candles in their rooms and make the blessing. The Mishnah Breuerah adds that if you are living in one location but eating somewhere else that night ( i.e. you are having the Friday night meal at another's house) you should light by your bedside. We typically do not do this however because of possible danger.

6. The Rema in his gloss to the Shulchan Aruch (263:10) says the essence of the mitzvah of lighting Shabbas candles rests on candles kindled on the dining table. The Mishnah Breuerah adds that lichatchila (the proper manner) is that one should eat by the light of the Shabbas candles. Mishnah Breuerah (263:9) says that one may not eat outside in a courtyard (instead of on the table with the candles) unless it will be a great bother to eat inside.

7. The Shulchan Aruch (263:1) says you should prepare and light two candles, one for Zachor (Remember the Shabbas, Exodus 20:8) and one for Shamor (Safeguard the Shabbas, Dueteronomy 5:12). The Rema adds that one may light as many extra candles as desired but one should not light fewer than two candles.

8. The Rema (263:5) writes that in order not to get pleasure from the light of the Shabbas candles before making the blessing, one should light the candles, then cover their eyes, recite the blessing, and then look at the light.

9. The Gemara in Shabbas 23b says to accustom oneself to lighting candles so one merits learning children (literally talmudei chachamim). Rashi (Shabbas 23b talmudei chachamim) explains that the verse says "Ki Ner Mitzvah Torah Ohr" "For the commandment is a candle and the Torah is light" (Proverbs 6:23) and that from the light of the mitzvah of Shabbas and Chanukah candles comes Torah (i.e. learned children). The Mishnah Breuerah (263:1) says that after lighting the candles and making the blessing, one should pray for learned children.

10. The Kitzur Shulcah Aruch (75:6) says that it is customary for women to shower and wear Shabbas clothes before lighting the candles. (Maybe if a man was to light he should do the same. I certainly think that would be proper.)

11. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (75:7) says if one wants to perform malacha (activities forbidden on Shabbas) after lighting the candles, one should specify this before lighting the candles. (This is especially relevant for women because women typically accept Shabbas upon themselves when lighting the candles.) Still, bediavad (after the fact), if one did not make such a specification, even women can still (if required) perform malacha.

I hope this is found to be helpful.

The question for this week is why does Eliezer refer to himself as Abraham's servant throughout the parshah only to return home and report only to Isaac?

In this week's Torah portion, we find the following verse: " Laban and Bethuel [both] spoke up. 'It is something from God!' they said. 'We cannot say anything to you, bad or good" (Genesis 24:50).

There is an assumption among the commentators that whenever two people say something together, the older individual is mentioned first. Whenever this is not the case, commentators explain the deviation.

Rashi explains that Laban, being evil, did not give his father a chance to answer and instead spoke first.

Radak explains that Bethuel was old and Laban was taking care of him and helping him.

Our job here is not to decide who is correct but to see what we can learn from each explanation. It appears to me that both Rashi and Radak are discussing two different mitzvos in the Torah.

Radak speaks of the mitzvah of honoring one's parents (Exodus 20:12) while Rashi informs us of the mitzvah of revering one's parents (Leviticus 19:3).

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch says:

(This is all expressed in the masculine but it applies to both parents)

"How are they [parents] to be revered? You must not occupy designated place in the council of elders and with his friends, or the designated place in which he prays, and you must not sit in his designated place at his dining table. You must not contradict his words, or even corroborate his words in his presence, even to say 'father is right.' To what extent must you revere them? If you were dressed in costly clothing and presiding over the assembly and your father or mother came and tore your clothing, struck you on the head and spat in your face, you must not embarrass them, or show distress in their presence or anger towards them; but you must be silent and fear the King who is King of Kings, the Holy One, Blessed is He, Who so commanded [A footnote cites the Rema that says you are allowed to prevent them for doing these things]. But you may summon them to Beis Din for the damages they inflicted on you" (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:2).

"How are they to be honored? You should provide them wth food and drink, with clothing and shelter, escort them to their home and escort them from their home. You must provide these services cheerfully, for even if you provide them daily with choice poultry but do so with ill grace you will incur Divine punishment" (143:3).

I am sure we all have a lot of work to do in this area, at least I know I do.

Have a good Shabbas,
Mordechai

Chavre

About an hour ago I attended lecture by Rabbi Dr. Jacob J. Schacter and there, Rav Avishai David said he himself heard Rav Soloveitchik say that to say that the State of Israel is Reishit Semichat Geulatenu requires that one be a prophet. The Rav's position on religious Zionism can basically be found in Kol Dodi Dofek (The Voice of my Beloved Is Knocking) (translated into English as Fate and Destiny). Rabbi Schacter said that he heard from the Rav that the most important part of Kol Dodi Dofek is the first part discussing where we were (or more specifically where we were not) during the Holocaust.

A solid education requires reading primary sources and everybody should read Kol Dodi Dofek or its translation Fate and Destiny.


There are of course other models for religious Zionism and one must strive to understand all of them on their own terms.


I thought this was important enough to write down and send out,
Mordechai

Sorry for delay, internet was down


Parshat Vayera

This week our yeshiva has suffered a great loss as one of our students, and in my mind anyway he was the best of us, has left. Planning to make aliyah, he is now attending a hesder yeshiva (combines the intensive Torah learning of a yeshiva with some amount of time - how much depends on the yeshiva - of army service. Anybody interested in the concept may read http://www.vbm-torah.org/archive/ral2-hes.htm by Rav Aharon Lichtenstein). We wish him well and as such, this week's devar Torah is dedicated to him.

For this week's question, I will repeat a question which a classmate asked our Tanach class. The question is solid and the more I learn regarding the two respective events, the stronger the question becomes. While I can hazard some answers, none sit well with me. Anyway, Abraham pleaded for G-d to spare Sodom but said nothing about the Akeida. Why?

Before beggining the devar Torah proper, a short thought based on our Mashgiach's sicha:
This week's Parshah begins with the famous words "Hashem appeared to him in the plains of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day" (Genesis 18:1). We all remember that this is G-d comming to visit Abraham who is recovering from circumcision (the last event in the Torah). However, why does the verse not mention Abraham's name and instead simply says 'he'? (Now this would not be a question except that our verse begins a new paragraph and using pronouns in opening sentences makes for poor writing. Thus, there must be reason why a pronoun is used.) The Cli Yakar answers that the Torah does not want us to misunderstand the reason for G-d's visit. The name Abraham means 'father of many nations' and Abraham was a well respected leader of significant stature and if the verse had said Abraham, we might have thought that we too need to be leaders. Instead, the Torah uses a pronoun because G-d revealed Himself to Abraham because of his humility ("I am but dust and ash" Genesis 18:27). Humility is hard, so very hard and I (Mordechai, not my mashgiach) have none of it and being such an arrogant and egotistic person, far be it from me to propose a path to humility. While it is absolutely true that "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?", arrogance is like an iron wall preventing us from connecting with G-d. (Related to The Lonely Man of Faith, we saw how only Adam 2 can connect with G-d.)


The Eternal Chain of Jewish History: Part II

I would like to speak about something which we all want, namely we want our children and our children's children and so on until the coming of the Messiah to be Jews.

In this week's Parshah, G-d says "Shall I conceal from Abraham what I am about to do [to Sodom]...for I have loved him because he commands his children and his household after him that they kep the way of Hashem..." (Genesis 18:17-19). Here we have it. This verse, according to Rav Elazar Menachem Man Schach ztzt"l is the only reason stated in the Torah as to why Abraham and his wife Sarah were chosen. (He writes this in the book Rav Schach Speaks, since the book is home, I can unfortunately neither quote him nor give the page.) That is a powerful point, that the primary reason for our Patriarch and Matriarch's selection was their committment to raising Jewish children.

Although in its use today, it may mean quite little, Jewish Continuity is no joke and assimilation is perhaps the greatest challenge facing American Jewry as a collective. There are no quicky solutions and miracle cures and attempts to cover over and patch up the problem do not improve the matter. (Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of England, wrote some excellent essays on Jewish Continuity, see http://www.chiefrabbi.org/ar-index.html.) However, we can say one thing: intermarriage leads to assimilation.

In the words of Rabbi Doron Kornbluth (who I had the privalage of learning under when he subbed at our Yeshiva because a rabbi was in the States doing recruiting) "I've spent hundreds of hours researching the subject of intermarriage. I've pored over statistics, read studies, interviewed experts, read books, listened to tapes, and watched videos. I've spoken with the children of intermarriage. Time and time again, I've discused it with people from diverse backgrounds with various experiences. I've come to the conclusion that people are mistaken when they think that intermarried families live 'happiliy ever after' and that the kids stay Jewish. While it may surprise you - and hence the title of the book - the facts speak for themselves: if you are Jewish, your chances of having a happy marriage, of your kids feeling rooted and stable, and of having Jewish descendants are all significantly higher if you marry another Jew - whether a sincere convert or somebody born Jewish" (Why Marry Jewish?, by Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, page 12). (Rabbi Kornbluth clearly states "No one should be branded 'good' or 'bad' Jews..." and that his goal with is to help Jews make informed choices, page 13.) What follows are not racist statements but rather simply facts about Jewish continuity.
On page 19, Rabbi Kornbluth has the following list of words:

Cross
Christmas tree
Star of David
Jesus on the cross
Torah scroll
Gefilte fish
Chuppah
Mezuzah
Menorah
The Pope
The Westrn Wall
Bar Mitzvah
Jrry Falwell
Pork
Christianity
Passover
Palestinians
Shofar
The Crusades
Louis Farrakhan
Chanukah
Ham
Judaism
Jews for Jesus
Seder

Write down the first thought that comes to your mind with each word. The first thought.
One issue which Rabbi Kornbluth points out is that Jews have deep emotions about both Jewish and Christian stuff, those of the former are typically positive while those of the latter are typically quite negative and these emotions greatly affect decisions we make. Often, these emotions can cause many problems when marrying a Christian spouse and such conflicting messages (as Christians view their religion quite positively) almost guarentee even if raised Jewish, the children will assimilate.

Now what if one is convinced and plans to marry a Jew but still dates non-Jews (because it is only a date and there are no plans at all for marriage)?

"In traditional Jewish life, dating and marriage go 'hand in hand.' You date because you want to find your life mate. Someone who wants to marry Jewish wouldn't date non-Jews if their main purpose in dating was to find a life partner."

"But most Jews today don't date to find their life partners, especially when they are in their teens or early twenties. People date because they like feeling in love. Because it is fun to have a boyfriend (or a girlfrient)." Because everyone else is doing it. Because they don't like being alone. But they aren't dating to get married. They feel too young to make decisions like that. They want to gather experiences, to be able to compare and contrast, to 'get it out of their system.'"

"According to this modern way of thinking, dating and marriage seem quite disconnected, at least in the early years. It then seems quite reasonable to date non-Jews while still planning to marry Jewish in the end. This is referred to as the 'it's just a date' approach. 'I'll probably go out with many different people before I settle down,' the person tells him or herself. 'I have no intention of marrying this person. When I'm ready to get married, I'll look for someone Jewish.'" (Why Marry Jewish?, pages 119-120.)

As Rabbi Kornbluth demonstrates, for a number of reasons, this approach "has proven itself to be shortsighted" (page 120).

One main reason is that we are effected by our actions and by dating non-Jews, we lower our resistence to emotions and our committment to marrying Jews and in the end, intermarry.
While arguments against interrmariage should not be needed, as a Jew who feels a pulsating connection to Judaism will marry a Jew, today, when most Jews intermarry, Rabbi Kornbluth's book is a lifesaver.

Why Marry Jewish? is published by Targum/Feldheim and belongs in every Hillel, Synagogue, and Jewish School. Furthermore, as day school students, we should inform Jews looking for non-Jewish partners about this book and its contents.


Have a good Shabbas,
Mordechai

Parshat Lech Lecha


The question this week:

Genesis 12:1 God said to Abram, 'Go away from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house, to the land that I will show you.
וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה אֶל-אַבְרָם, לֶךְ-לְךָ מֵאַרְצְךָ וּמִמּוֹלַדְתְּךָ וּמִבֵּית אָבִיךָ, אֶל-הָאָרֶץ, אֲשֶׁר אַרְאֶךָּ.

Genesis 22:2 'Take your son, the only one you love - Isaac - and go away to the Moriah area...'
וַיֹּאמֶר קַח-נָא אֶת-בִּנְךָ אֶת-יְחִידְךָ אֲשֶׁר-אָהַבְתָּ, אֶת-יִצְחָק, וְלֶךְ-לְךָ, אֶל-אֶרֶץ הַמֹּרִיָּה...

In each case what is Abraham commanded to sacrifice and what is the significance in this repetition?


Preface:

One question we must ask when discussing the Abraham narratives is why we were not informed as to why our Patriarch was originally chosen. Our Sages bequeathed to us traditions of Abraham the monotheist and iconoclast; why does the Torah not mention any of this? Nechama Leibowitz (Studies on Genesis, the first essay on Lech Lecha) proposes a novel answer, that the Torah wishes to focus on our Patriarch’s trials, not on his war against idolatry and that the very fact that he was chosen for a test (Abraham was tested ten times, see Pirkei Avot 5:4 and the Rambam there) proves that he was worthy. (She cites a medrish which says that G-d only tests the righteous.) Keep this in mind.



Walking Before the Lord


In this week’s Parshah we find the famous words “Abram was 99 years old. Hashem appeared to him and said, 'I am E-l Shad-dai. Walk before Me and be Tamim” (Genesis 17:1)

What is the significance of G-d’s name E-l Shad-dai and what exactly does it mean to be Tamim (typically translated as complete or perfect)?

There the Ramban comments “Rabbi Avraham [the Ibn Ezra] in the name of [Shmuel] HaNaggid of blessed memory explains [Shad-dai] is from the root Shadad, which means to say Victor and Prevailer over the hosts of the heavens, and this [explanation] is correct…”

Before discussing the Ramban, we should look at another verse in Deuteronomy.

“You shall be Tamim with Hashem your G-d” (Deuteronomy 18:13)
תָּמִים תִּהְיֶה, עִם יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ.

There, the Ramban comments as follows “…Do not seek out stargazers or astrologers, do not trust their words will come true on any matter, but if you hear something from them, say all is in the Hands of G-d, because He is the G-d of all powers, supreme over everything, and He can change or defeat over the stars and the constellations…”

Abraham was always alone. Our sages homiletically comment that Avraham was referred to as the Ivri (Genesis 14:13) because he the believer was on one side of the world and the rest of humanity who were pagan were on the other side. Why was this necessary? Rav Soloveitchik’s writings offer an answer. In enumerating the benefits of loneliness, he writes:

1. “…Social man is superficial: he imitates, he emulates. Lonely man is profound: he creates, he is original…” (The Community, page 13)
2. “Lonely man is free; social man is bound by many rules and ordinances [the Rav makes clear that he is not speaking about Halacha but rather arbitrary human rules]… Man is required, from time to time to defy the world, to replace the old and obselete with the new and relevant. Only lonely man is capable of casting off the harness of bandage to society” (Ibid)

The Rav continues “Who was Abraham? Who was Elijah? Who were the prophets? People who dared rebuke society in order to destroy the status quo and replace it with a new social order” (Ibid) [Predictably, the Rav does not view this as the ideal situation, if you can get a hold of the essay, I highly suggest you read it]

[[8/23/06 - The Rav says that sometimes one must stand alone. He seems actually to be quite clear that there are times and there always will be times when it is ideal. (See http://www.yutorah.org/_shiurim/1-14%20Carmy.pdf) Probably when the Messiah comes this will change and the dialectic will no longer be needed.]]

Things would have been much easier if Abraham and Sarah conformed to their surroundings, if they practiced their Judaism in secret, if they never had the courage to stand alone if that was what was required.

But thank G-d, this never happened!

The stars said Abraham and Sarah would be childless but E-l Shad-dai put us above the stars, above fate.

Similarly, in the years approximately from 1900-1950, Orthodox Judaism in the Unites States was wishy washy with halachic observance and flimsy in its commitment to Judaism. Seemingly, it was dying and sociologists predicted its rapid demise. But there were pioneers, names such as Rav Yaakov Yitzchak Ruderman (founder of Ner Israel), Rav Aharon Kotler (founder of the Lakewood Yeshiva), Rav Soloveitchik (no elaboration is required), and many more. They landed on shores bereft of any intensive Torah study, where shuls were social halls, and compromise (on that which cannot be compromised on) was the order of the day. Burning with an inner fire, they taught, they opened yeshivot and kollelim, and they build communities. Onlookers viewed them as insane and often mocked these visionaries. But history speaks for itself.

In our days, our challenges are different but we must still have the confidence in G-d and in our Torah that we will prevail.

When I was at the 2005 National Jamboree, a Chabadnik told me an excellent comparison. When one is cold, one can either put on warmer clothes or start a fire. With the fire, not only will you warm up yourself, you will warm up others.

We must be brave and respond to cold by lighting fires. If we feel our Judaism threatened, if we feel hard being Jewish, the solution is to strengthen oneself while strengthening others.


Of course, with troubles and distractions left and right, we need to make sure we stay on the right path. Thus, the Ramchal writes that a person must “at designated times, when he is by himself, reflect upon the true path that a person must follow in accordance with the laws of the Torah. And afterwards, he should reflect upon his deeds: do they conform to this path or not?” (The Path of the Just, Chapter 3). Setting aside time for such contemplation is tough and painful but it is necessary, even and most importantly in yeshiva, and certainly in everyday life.

This combination of self contemplation and strengthening others is doubly difficult but their synthesis is a sure success.


Have a good Shabbas,
Mordechai