Sorry for delay, internet was down


Parshat Vayera

This week our yeshiva has suffered a great loss as one of our students, and in my mind anyway he was the best of us, has left. Planning to make aliyah, he is now attending a hesder yeshiva (combines the intensive Torah learning of a yeshiva with some amount of time - how much depends on the yeshiva - of army service. Anybody interested in the concept may read http://www.vbm-torah.org/archive/ral2-hes.htm by Rav Aharon Lichtenstein). We wish him well and as such, this week's devar Torah is dedicated to him.

For this week's question, I will repeat a question which a classmate asked our Tanach class. The question is solid and the more I learn regarding the two respective events, the stronger the question becomes. While I can hazard some answers, none sit well with me. Anyway, Abraham pleaded for G-d to spare Sodom but said nothing about the Akeida. Why?

Before beggining the devar Torah proper, a short thought based on our Mashgiach's sicha:
This week's Parshah begins with the famous words "Hashem appeared to him in the plains of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day" (Genesis 18:1). We all remember that this is G-d comming to visit Abraham who is recovering from circumcision (the last event in the Torah). However, why does the verse not mention Abraham's name and instead simply says 'he'? (Now this would not be a question except that our verse begins a new paragraph and using pronouns in opening sentences makes for poor writing. Thus, there must be reason why a pronoun is used.) The Cli Yakar answers that the Torah does not want us to misunderstand the reason for G-d's visit. The name Abraham means 'father of many nations' and Abraham was a well respected leader of significant stature and if the verse had said Abraham, we might have thought that we too need to be leaders. Instead, the Torah uses a pronoun because G-d revealed Himself to Abraham because of his humility ("I am but dust and ash" Genesis 18:27). Humility is hard, so very hard and I (Mordechai, not my mashgiach) have none of it and being such an arrogant and egotistic person, far be it from me to propose a path to humility. While it is absolutely true that "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?", arrogance is like an iron wall preventing us from connecting with G-d. (Related to The Lonely Man of Faith, we saw how only Adam 2 can connect with G-d.)


The Eternal Chain of Jewish History: Part II

I would like to speak about something which we all want, namely we want our children and our children's children and so on until the coming of the Messiah to be Jews.

In this week's Parshah, G-d says "Shall I conceal from Abraham what I am about to do [to Sodom]...for I have loved him because he commands his children and his household after him that they kep the way of Hashem..." (Genesis 18:17-19). Here we have it. This verse, according to Rav Elazar Menachem Man Schach ztzt"l is the only reason stated in the Torah as to why Abraham and his wife Sarah were chosen. (He writes this in the book Rav Schach Speaks, since the book is home, I can unfortunately neither quote him nor give the page.) That is a powerful point, that the primary reason for our Patriarch and Matriarch's selection was their committment to raising Jewish children.

Although in its use today, it may mean quite little, Jewish Continuity is no joke and assimilation is perhaps the greatest challenge facing American Jewry as a collective. There are no quicky solutions and miracle cures and attempts to cover over and patch up the problem do not improve the matter. (Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of England, wrote some excellent essays on Jewish Continuity, see http://www.chiefrabbi.org/ar-index.html.) However, we can say one thing: intermarriage leads to assimilation.

In the words of Rabbi Doron Kornbluth (who I had the privalage of learning under when he subbed at our Yeshiva because a rabbi was in the States doing recruiting) "I've spent hundreds of hours researching the subject of intermarriage. I've pored over statistics, read studies, interviewed experts, read books, listened to tapes, and watched videos. I've spoken with the children of intermarriage. Time and time again, I've discused it with people from diverse backgrounds with various experiences. I've come to the conclusion that people are mistaken when they think that intermarried families live 'happiliy ever after' and that the kids stay Jewish. While it may surprise you - and hence the title of the book - the facts speak for themselves: if you are Jewish, your chances of having a happy marriage, of your kids feeling rooted and stable, and of having Jewish descendants are all significantly higher if you marry another Jew - whether a sincere convert or somebody born Jewish" (Why Marry Jewish?, by Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, page 12). (Rabbi Kornbluth clearly states "No one should be branded 'good' or 'bad' Jews..." and that his goal with is to help Jews make informed choices, page 13.) What follows are not racist statements but rather simply facts about Jewish continuity.
On page 19, Rabbi Kornbluth has the following list of words:

Cross
Christmas tree
Star of David
Jesus on the cross
Torah scroll
Gefilte fish
Chuppah
Mezuzah
Menorah
The Pope
The Westrn Wall
Bar Mitzvah
Jrry Falwell
Pork
Christianity
Passover
Palestinians
Shofar
The Crusades
Louis Farrakhan
Chanukah
Ham
Judaism
Jews for Jesus
Seder

Write down the first thought that comes to your mind with each word. The first thought.
One issue which Rabbi Kornbluth points out is that Jews have deep emotions about both Jewish and Christian stuff, those of the former are typically positive while those of the latter are typically quite negative and these emotions greatly affect decisions we make. Often, these emotions can cause many problems when marrying a Christian spouse and such conflicting messages (as Christians view their religion quite positively) almost guarentee even if raised Jewish, the children will assimilate.

Now what if one is convinced and plans to marry a Jew but still dates non-Jews (because it is only a date and there are no plans at all for marriage)?

"In traditional Jewish life, dating and marriage go 'hand in hand.' You date because you want to find your life mate. Someone who wants to marry Jewish wouldn't date non-Jews if their main purpose in dating was to find a life partner."

"But most Jews today don't date to find their life partners, especially when they are in their teens or early twenties. People date because they like feeling in love. Because it is fun to have a boyfriend (or a girlfrient)." Because everyone else is doing it. Because they don't like being alone. But they aren't dating to get married. They feel too young to make decisions like that. They want to gather experiences, to be able to compare and contrast, to 'get it out of their system.'"

"According to this modern way of thinking, dating and marriage seem quite disconnected, at least in the early years. It then seems quite reasonable to date non-Jews while still planning to marry Jewish in the end. This is referred to as the 'it's just a date' approach. 'I'll probably go out with many different people before I settle down,' the person tells him or herself. 'I have no intention of marrying this person. When I'm ready to get married, I'll look for someone Jewish.'" (Why Marry Jewish?, pages 119-120.)

As Rabbi Kornbluth demonstrates, for a number of reasons, this approach "has proven itself to be shortsighted" (page 120).

One main reason is that we are effected by our actions and by dating non-Jews, we lower our resistence to emotions and our committment to marrying Jews and in the end, intermarry.
While arguments against interrmariage should not be needed, as a Jew who feels a pulsating connection to Judaism will marry a Jew, today, when most Jews intermarry, Rabbi Kornbluth's book is a lifesaver.

Why Marry Jewish? is published by Targum/Feldheim and belongs in every Hillel, Synagogue, and Jewish School. Furthermore, as day school students, we should inform Jews looking for non-Jewish partners about this book and its contents.


Have a good Shabbas,
Mordechai